Wingman
One problem I’ve had as a big man who wears shirts and ties often is that my collars as they age tend to “roll” around my (let’s call it a) neck. The place where the collar is attached to the shirt fabric pushes down so you can see the inner portion of the collar....
Life Goals
Guy: “I wouldn’t wear all that, you won’t fit in!”Me: “What terrible goals you have in life!”
Suit SMASH
When the body says “Hulk SMASH” while the suit says “in a moment, after this vintage Pinot with hints of nutmeg and lingonberries”
How do you do it?
“You always look so sharp every day, how do you do it?”
“Um, I put clothes on?”
Had a very shiny tie…
Just testing out my old theory that if Santa simply wore the right tie, he wouldn’t have needed Rudolph at all
Winston Churchill with Better Stocks
“You’re like Winston Churchill with better socks!”
“I have to get that line on my business cards somehow.”
Ahh Nature…
Someone informed me I should relax and go outside and enjoy nature, so I finally took their advice… what? why are you looking at me funny? Is my tie clashing with the foliage?
Jury Duty And The Missing Dress Code
Jury duty… sigh… at least all the other potential jurors wore their fancy sweat pants for the occasion…
Dress code?
“Do you have a dress code in your house or something?”
“Let me put it to you this way, there’s a dress code to ask that question.”